Monday, September 30, 2013

THIS IS HOW WE CRUISE

This is the account of our 2nd ever cruise vacation, which we paid with our tax return money.
For insight into our previous cruising adventure, please see: We Don't Know How to Cruise

1.
While waiting for our taxi to arrive,
played an enthusiastic game of rock, paper, scissors...


And sweet, innocent wifey dealt out legit, double-finger slap marks on hubby's arm
while he looked on in complete shock and awe


2.
Gathered at our muster station (the casino) to learn about ship safety
Dangerous Beauty, reporting for duty


3.
Dinner Plate #1: Prime rib


Dessert: Chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream


4.
Attempted to ignore the pain of severe shoulder sunburns
strategically hidden under the scarf/shawl



Sunburn: 1 
Non-alcoholic beverages: 0


5.
Dinner Plate #2: Steak


6.
Went on an excursion not expecting to have to literally climb up a waterfall

"Lets go see a pretty waterfall! Yeah! It's going to be so relaxing! Picture of our wrist bands!"
"... what... is... this..."

Best excursion EVER



7.
Due to our wild imagination and general boredom,
convinced ourselves the waiter was going to lose his job because of us
Told the manager how great he was... saved his career


8.
Repeatedly chuckled at our waiter's favorite phrases:
"Top of the line"
"Top quality"
"Excellente"
"Hot and good"
"Ladies and gentlemen... pause...
I would just like to say... pause...
bon appetite..." smile

Patterson's "top quality" hand gesture
9.
Listened patiently to our waiter tell a joke (?)
about the different colored packets of sugar on our table
It went something like this:
Blue is the color of water in the swimming pool
White is the color of the inside of the swimming pool
Yellow is the color of the walls in the swimming pool area
Pink is the color of sunburned skin after you exit the swimming pool...
*Awkward laugh*


10.
Dinner Plate #3: Steak


Dessert:
Chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream


There is an ongoing theme here...

11.
Escapades of a tipsy wife #1:
Ears in the glass case


12.
Dinner Plate #4: Steak


13.
"I love chocolate covered strawberries"


"I LOVE CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES!"


14.
Played this casino game on a rocky day at sea...


Got some bills!


Net gain = $0.00
Curse you, casino! Curse you!

15.
Escapades of a tipsy wife #2:
The unattended housekeeping cart


16.
Dinner Plate #5: Braised beef?
No, that won't do


Late night room service:
Steak, with a side of french fries
Problem solved


Dessert: Chocolate cake


17.
Adam Trent
Tall + good-looking + magician =
Too shy to ask for a picture


Just kidding!


18.
Tried to treat sunburn with a technique I learned in nursing school
Smelled like spoiled milk all night
Sunburn: 2
Borden Milk therapy: -10


19.
The asian in me...

Stingray squid snack!
20.
I kissed a stingray (twice) and I liked it



End.