I WAKE, YOU WAKE

When I first open my eyes in the morning over the weekend, there are but a few things on my mind. One is to go back to sleep. The second is to empty my bladder. The third is an overwhelming need to WAKE UP HUBBY IN THE MOST ANNOYING WAY POSSIBLE! A feeling of pure and utter GIDDINESS comes over me. I chuckle uncontrollably and maneuver about the bed with a burst of unexplainable, hyperactive energy.

I have been known to do the following:

• Roll over hubby back and forth several times and comment on how lumpy the mattress is.
• Inspired by a song upon wakening, sing it loudly and with gusto.
• Burrow under covers and headbutt hubby until he must either climb over me or fall out the bed.
• Cover hubby completely with comforter, 2 heavy Sobakowa buckwheat pillows, 4 extra fluffy pillows, and 2 microfiber blankets, wait until hubby is annoyingly hot and stuffy, then body slam him.

• Spin around in circles sideways on the bed and yell "WEE!"
• Pull the white comforter around my head and torso, insist on being a fluffy white cloud, then fall on hubby.
• For quickest results, place cold feet on hubby's warm back. 
• Talk to hubby frantically with mouth closed and expect hubby to understand what is being said.
• Balance pillows on my feet and propel them at hubby.
• Manipulate hubby's limbs to act out a scene in which I am being assaulted by an alien octopus.
• Blow air into hubby's face until his eyes open, then sputter to a stop and lie quietly back down. Repeat.