BEHOLD, WHITE PAINT

Behold, 

these golden keys with sparkling glitter

will be transformed.

Step 1:

Be adventurous

Buy worthless $4 "decorative" keys at TJ Maxx

Step 2:

Cut at ring with sharp tools

Curse at weak arms

Consider a hammer

Fail miserably

Revert back to sharp tools

Step 3:

Brush white paint over keys

Chuckle in excitement at glorious transformation

Step 4:

Lightly pat white paint off for rustic look

Daydream about Pottery Barn

Step 5:

Stare at keys intensely

Wait for paint to dry

Step 6:

Touch painted keys before paint has dried

Frown at white fingertips and sigh loudly

Step 7:

Repaint keys

Move away from the keys

Step 8:

Wash dishes

Step 9:

Eagerly pounce on now dry keys

Dangle and admire in sunlight

Giggle with glee

Step 10:

Place on display

Pretend they're from Pottery Barn