WE DO R.I.C.E

R.I.C.E

Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevation.

Its been a couple weeks now since hubby badly sprained his ankle playing basketball. 

I've assumed the daily role of pillow-stacker, ice pack-keeper, ACE wrap-wrapper, foot bath-maker, ICY-HOT masseuse, and sock put-er-on-er. 

Besides all of that, and me losing my temper at the added wifey duties, I've compiled a list of what it means now that hubby is an invalid, a gimp, a bum if you will.

1.

I can't keep the home proper no more!

Before

After

Before

After

2.

I'm making hubby's foot bath from a salt that is also used for constipation

Heh

3.

This very flower pot used to house our infamous plant (see The Plant that Wouldn't Die) 

is the only thing large enough in our home to contain hubby's swollen ankle for his foot bath

4.

There is now always a single, lonely shoe at the bottom of my staircase

(So that hubby can put on shoe while sitting on stairs)

5.

We're the first ones to be seated at the movie theater

Pity perks!

6.

Another perk:

Free rice pudding from Cafe Agora

(Best Mediterranean food in ATL)

 For your viewing pleasure, here's a glimpse of what we had:

7.

I have to fly solo at fun places that involve walking,

(like the food truck event we had at our neighborhood)

which makes it not-so-fun anymore

 8.

A gazillion toss pillows are finally considered USEFUL

9.

Hubby can now channel all the superhero prowess of Robocop

10. 

What?! I have to take out the trash?!

End.

LESSONS FROM A MOUNTAINEER

1.

Drop off belongings at

The Ridges Resort and Marina
in Hiawassee, Georgia

And relax a while before pursuing hiking extravaganza

2.

Pass time by:

playing a game of checkers

(without knowing the rules)

Watching lonely ducks swim in the lake

Tossing beanbags

(better than hubby- ha)

3.

Never pass on hot apple cider, warm chocolate chip cookies,

and s'mores every evening

4.

When traveling to the mountains with a cold,

be prepared to NyQuil, VapoRub, and overall

just do a lot of suffering

5.

The amazing chocolate wrap at Michaelee's Chocolate Caffe

cannot be enjoyed with a stuffy nose

And hubby will make sure you know that

6. 

But at least make up for previous Michaelee's disappointment by later

stuffing face with biggest slice of carrot cake ever encountered

7.

Be kind to housekeeping for cleaning up snotty messes

and leaving notes with scary-looking happy-faces on it

8.

Take hiking signs seriously

9.

Descending 347 steps is easy...

10.

Ascending 347 steps...
not so much

11.

Taking pictures of foliage and flowers... *wheeze*

is in no way... *wheeze*

an excuse for... *wheeze*

catching your breath... *wheeze*

weak-sauce... *wheeze*

12.

To prevent profound dizziness and faintness of heart,

do not imagine falling long distances and

do not vigorously shake the suspension bridge

13.
Must have a trusty steed
to travel up gravelly embankments on a mountain...

ford a river...

and take you to a secluded, road-less-traveled, hiking trail
that is reminiscent of the Blair Witch Project

14.

Do not hike to the waterfalls with a full bladder

if you'd rather not have your ideals on modesty thoroughly challenged

Contemplating...

Tempted...

Really shouldn't...

15.

Remember your inner asian and always

pack ramen noodles with instant rice

Feast under candlelight for a little added romance

End.