THE DIY ITCH

I had a brilliant idea for cute little thrifty gifts, and I was going to make it happen... DIY / Martha Stewart-style for all my married girl friends. Get this. Wool dryer balls.

These dryer balls decrease drying time, fluff and puff clothes, and eliminate the need for dryer sheets. I mean, how easy was this going to be? All I had to do was make several big balls of wool and give it away as an eco-friendly, cost-effective, simple and ingenious gift idea which I would then be praised for being such a good and resourceful wife. And all I had to do was wind wool into a ball.

I happily jabbered about my clever and innovational gift idea to hubby as I settled down for a night of ball-making with my strings of wool. I began with the a small knot and began to wind the wool around it, just like in the pictures I found on GoodMama. 

This is so EASY

I kept thinking about how incredibly easy this was going to be. I was giddy with delight, completely sold on the genius of this idea. I was comfortably lounging on the couch in my PJ's. I was watching T.V with my hubby. I was going to wind this wool up into a neat sphere and barely even notice I did it.

After a couple of minutes, I frowned down at my little ball of wool as it disintegrated in front of my eyes. The more I tried to wind the wool around the small knot, the more it kept slipping off. The muscles on my left hand holding the small, pathetic ball of wool cramped horribly as my nails dug in for more traction. Giving up at this point was not an option. I shook off the hand spasms and began again with a frustrated sound of dismay. It dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't going to be easy.

I managed to form a small, dilapidated, lumpy, oval-shaped ball. It did not look anything like the picture below.

According to the GoodMama web blog, you keep winding and winding until eventually, it's supposed to somehow, miraculously, turn into the size of an orange. Lets just say, mine didn't quite make it to be that big.

Here it is next to a delicious chocolate cupcake compliments of TeatroSweets

Here it is next to some lip balm

Here it is next to a Cutie. It is not an orange, it is a California mandarin

Not only did my fingers refuse to straighten from their gnarled positions, but my enthusiasm had petered out and died in whimpering fashion. Surely this couldn't be it! Surely I was doing something wrong here! I clamored for my computer. I googled and youtube'd "how to make a ball of string," but the answers did not reveal some hidden, secret technique. In fact, it appeared that they (obviously members of the Martha Stewart sisterhood) had no difficulty spinning their balls of wool at all.

I threw a small fit in front of hubby.

Then I proceeded to painstakingly, torturously, hand-make 10 more cursed balls of wool. I stuffed them into pantyhose material as I was informed to do by the Bad GoodMama.

I shoved them into the washer, I threw them into the dryer, and now that they are complete, I have lost all eagerness, all joyfulness to grant them as gifts. 

Cursed balls of wool

These labor-intensive wool dryer balls are sitting in my laundry room. I have 10 of them. 10. Please come and get them. That is all.